Season Preview from the First Secretary of Sport

[Jungle Cats]

Most recent article - http://www.ehechockey.com/forums/viewto ... =50#p51121

Florida Panthers Organization Welcomes New GM
Sunrise, FL (AP) - Amidst another lost season, the ownership of the Florida Panthers hockey club is shuffling the deck with the announcement of a new management group headed by veteran TBLer Zaq Haslam, lured from retirement by a seven figure deal. Haslam's brief initial statements to the press were nothing short of enigmatic - "Havoc in the buttery," and then in response to a question about the club's direction - "Wist-ways."

The new manager has this paper's full and utter support, as we look back at the tumultuous path the Panthers have been on this season. Hefty contract extensions to players not worth extending, hefty or otherwise, have left the Cats in Cap Hell. Large sums of money have been thrown in the directions of unproven and stagnating forwards like Nathan Horton, Stephen Weiss and David Booth, the trio has combined for 57 goals through 54 games, but are paid 11.35 million collectively. When reached for comment, Haslam assured us that the accounting department of the previous GM has been subpoenaed, and in some cases, thoroughly sodomized.

Haslam's plans for the rest of the season likely include attempts to shed salary and acquire more talented roster players as he assesses the assets required to turn the Cats from laughingstock to less-of-a-laughingstock.

[Penguin]

Nice read, but I had forgotten how complicated you write! Props for TBL.

[SharksGM]

When reached for comment, Haslam assured us that the accounting department of the previous GM has been subpoenaed, and in some cases, thoroughly sodomized.

This might be a little excessive... aren't there labour laws about this sort of thing?

[Commish Bub(NYR)]

When reached for comment, Haslam assured us that the accounting department of the previous GM has been subpoenaed, and in some cases, thoroughly sodomized.

This might be a little excessive... aren't there labour laws about this sort of thing?

Sadly, yes.

[Jungle Cats]

Panthers Ship Out Horton, Booth

Sunrise, FL (AP) - With the NHL trade deadline still a ways off in the distance, the Panthers have pounced early. Making good on a promise to shake things up, Zaq Haslam sent wingers Nathan Horton and David Booth out west to the Dallas Stars in exchange for Loui Eriksson, Nicklas Grossman, Francis Wathier and a 1st Round selection in the next entry draft. The move shows that no player on the roster is safe - Panther mainstay Horton was a popular and productive scorer who played over 400 games and spent six seasons with the team, and David Booth lead the club in goals last season with thirty one.

The return is less than impressive on paper - the Panthers traded 45 goals in return for 22, but at the presser the GM was all smiles when he introduced the two Scandinavians who would join the lineup against the Ducks Monday night.

"Loui is a dependable young player who we feel should be able to log some good minutes and contribute offensively while we re-tool our forward pool. He brings a consistent effort and an excellent selection of shots to our group on the right wing. Nick's a defenceman who we've watched get more comfortable with the North American game over the last couple of years, and in the post-lockout NHL we find the fusion of a speed-based, more cerebral style defensive game mixed with Nick's physical talents to be everything we look for in a 'stopping' style defenseman."

Eriksson, 24, had 37 points in 51 games with the Stars this season. Last year he broke out offensively with 36 goals, for Monday's game he was slotted in on the 2nd line.

- Roster Movement and Clubhouse Notes
News from the top isn't sitting well with veteran Center Michael Nylander, who was informed Monday that the organization is severing its ties with him - You don't have to go home, but you can't play here. Tenacious winger Cody McLeod was claimed off waivers Monday morning and added to the lineup versus the Ducks before finalizing a hotel.

[Virtual Jarmo]

Love the Hotel California reference in regards to Nylander. Top notch, sir.

[Jungle Cats]

For Panthers fans, the Song (mostly) Remains the Same
Sunrise, FL (AP) - The Panthers played their last game before the two week Olympic break on Saturday, and the 4-1 loss to the Bruins dropped their record on the month to an even 3-3. The record represents the glass half full/half empty feeling guiding listless Panthers fans to the BankAtlantic Centre, where rock bottom ticket prices are undercut by a lingering feeling of malaise. The prices are low, ergo, expectations are low.

Consider the following - despite the initial promise of the fledgling franchise near Miami, the surprise run to the Stanley Cup finals in 1996 and the numerous exciting young talents the team has fostered through the years, the Panthers have never come close to replicating that Cinderella success, and every young star, it seems, is eager to get out of Florida as soon as they can. The Panthers did not qualify for the playoffs once in the last decade, and since the finals run, they've made just two appearances in twelve seasons, and won a single playoff game (in 1997). Although the Panthers have always had high draft picks and have had several young exciting players on the roster - more recently players like Roberto Luongo, Jay Bouwmeester and Nathan Horton - even the casual fan would notice that all of those players were traded as soon as it became apparent they weren't going to re-sign long term with the club.

Things may change, the fans may see the benefit of the new regime in coming years, the stockpiling of draft picks so far should certainly help create a buzz around the team if they translate in more exciting players than Greg Campbell, Hal Gill and Bryan McCabe, but more importantly, if the team can build while maintaining a sturdy enough foundation. To the fans' minds and ours, that means knowing when the cornerstones are laid and being willing to follow through with construction.

The people's champion right now is Stephen Weiss, a first round draft choice from 2001. The 26 year old centre leads the team in scoring with 57 points in 61 games this season, and is getting to be about the age when fans fear for his future with the team. His 462 appearances in a Panthers jersey are the longest continuous tenure on the team (although winger Radek Dvorak has played 545 games in two separate terms), and near the top of the club's all-time list. Weiss' growth into an impact player has been a long process, and although he may never develop into a 1st tier superstar, he's a popular and capable playmaker who should be able to act as a Mento to any young Manatees coming up through the pipelines. The most important stat regarding Weiss however, is his contract, which has 4 years remaining on it.

- Roster Movement and Clubhouse Notes
Loui Eriksson, despite limited ice time in his first two weeks with the Cats, is so far putting up nearly a point every game from the second line. Coach DeBoer is very satisfied with how well the Finn is fitting in with the team, and is impressed with his patience as he learns the team culture. Coach DeBoer was less kind when discussing Eriksson's taste in music when it was his day to pick the pre-game pump-up - the Cats skated to a 3-1 defeat at the hands of the Vancouver Canucks and Paul Simon's Graceland.

[Jungle Cats]

Florida Panthers Rolling the Dice at NHL Entry Draft
Los Angeles, CA (AP) - Panthers fans had plenty of reason to be excited going into this year's NHL entry draft, with the club holding 4 1st round picks, including two selections in the top 15. Despite somewhat spurious rumours, the first pick made by the Panthers was at #6, when the team picked up flashy winger Mikael Granlund. This pick was not without immediate detractors, the leading Panthers fanblogs had been clamouring for a defenseman early, but the majority of early feedback was positive.

What really got a reaction was Haslam's second move on the day, which saw the club move up to pick at #8, moving the 13th and 36th pick to Columbus for the privilege. The setup was inevitable - again we got posts speculating about McIlrath, Connolly and even a vocal contingent certain that the Panthers had moved up to select Burmistrov - and when Haslam made the pick, a slew of 'who?'

Who? Is Petter Granberg, a Swedish defender who was seen among insiders as a possible riser on the day, but even the most optimistic of prognosticators had him as a late 1st rounder. Reaction was swift. Bloggers signed off to go drinking, and we fielded numerous confused callers, most of whom had an opinion on the Dolphins' D-line. After assurances that we're a hockey show, a half a dozen callers stayed on the line long enough to call for Haslam's head.

We'll say this. Granberg may have been a riser, but he was a reach at 13, and looks downright bizarre at 8, given the number of better established prospects still on the board. It's hard to believe that Luce's squad had him at 8, but Luce reported that Granberg ended up at #5 on their board, and they had heard rumbles of other teams being interested. If that's not harder still to believe, imagine that those rumblings were coming as early as the top 10.

And let's say this about Granberg - the book has yet to be written, and it's entirely possible he ends up among the top ten players in this draft, he just looks like he has further to go than most. He's a big, smooth skater who is equally at home in his own zone or quarterbacking an attack.

Haslam continues to refuse to comment until the conclusion of the draft, when I suppose he'll answer for his actions - to an admittedly small, but nearly homicidal group of fans, who won't stop calling us.

[Virtual Jarmo]

You're a gifted writer, sir. Love reading your stuff.

[Femur]

...Haslam continues to refuse to comment...

that doesn't appear likely. former Cleveland Cavalier Edgar Jones once called a press conference to announce he was no longer speaking to the media. why did that just suddenly come from my memory?

[Jungle Cats]

The Florida Panthers organization wishes to clarify their position that they will not be making any comments by pointing out that they are not making any comments, and they further will refuse to acknowledge the possibility of a logical paradox by refusing to acknowledge the rumours of their making of comments about not making comments and and being generally unintelligible. This message will self-destruct.

[Commish Bub(NYR)]

You don't say.

[Jungle Cats]

Deposed GM retakes office, rebels disperse, draft completed.
Sunrise, FL (AP) - When beloved GM Zack Haslam and his management team were guests of the LA Kings at the 2010 NHL Entry Draft a few weeks ago, the Orange County Liberation Front saw their opportunity to seize control of the Bank Atlantic Center, assisted by their associates in the Symbionese Liberation Army, the AARP and The Official Florida Panthers fan club. The coup was bloodless, but their authority total - and popularity boosted by the questionable moves being made 4000km to the West.

Granlund was a selection without controversy, the smooth skating winger remained neutral in the minds of observers, not aiding the turning tides in any substantial way. The first hammer to drop was the Granberg selection at 8. Haslam traded up to pick a 2nd round player. Reaction was swift. "Poor asset management!" was the rallying cry of red shirted partisans who marched on the Arena, tearing down recently unveiled banners that had effectively removed 'hockey' from the marketing strategy, and were instead pointing out that visitors to the Arena would be sitting in the same seats other people sat in while watching LEBRON JAMES.

Brock Nelson's selection at #22 did little to assuage fears, as the skeleton media staff on hand in Sunrise attempted to soothe radio callers with the repeated mantras of 'There is a plan in place' and 'These picks will look quite savvy in a couple of years,' but towing the party line all but evaporated as a strategy when, with the final of four 1st round selections, Haslam's group in LA selected Connor Brickley, a little known high school player. Haslam's aides and loyalists in the media in Florida speculated that it may turn out that Brickley could be one of the absolute best players in the draft, given how they've seen his development curve shaping up, but eventually the radio went dead, as callers took to the streets to join the mob.

Everyone but the zamboni man was chased out of the Bank just before noon that Saturday. Fan club director Hector Ortega was installed as Generalissimo-Managero-For-Life, and (ex, as of this writing) Florida Panther Kamil Kreps voiced his support for the new regime, and looked to be on the verge of signing an extension with the junta.

After losing their second round pick on a whim, the Panthers-in-exile sat out much of the 2nd round, and had to be content with defensive specialist Joey Hishon at pick 55. Again, Haslam spoke glowingly of his new prospect, but the Ortega Regime had imposed something of a media blackout at this time. This publication ran more speculation about LEBRON JAMES' new favourite hang outs and restaurants.

Maxim Berezin, with his limited English language skills, was blindsided with a question about the Ortega regime, and appeared to offer his support on a TSN radio interview. At this point, Haslam retired to his hotel room and Head Scout Scott Luce took over the running of the draft. Brandon Archibald was Luce's lone selection before he followed Haslam behind the veil and onto a coast-to-coast flight. The NHL aided Assistant GM Randy Sexton in the selection of Bradley Ross (#144), Justin Faulk (#156) and goaltender MIchael Houser(#186), while the contended Ortega Regime awaited the return of the exiles.

It is at this point that this magazine has an embarrassing 'gap' in the details, however It would appear the SLA, AARP and Official Panthers Fan Club lacked a certain resolve, when push came to shove, and Ortega hasn't been seen since last Thursday. When Haslam and his group held a presser on Sunday to introduce the new prospects, no questions were taken, as we were fed platitudes about the abilities of the various players to fit into vital and depth roles in the future of this organization.

As for the stability of status quo, we have mentioned that Ortega is missing, and Kamil Kreps has been spotted in Mexico, and is also reportedly on the radar of some west coast teams.

(D Justin Faulk - +10 to PL ceilings, +10 to ST ceilings)

[Virtual Jarmo]

Do I be a complete dick about 2 minutes?

[Parker]

Do I be a complete dick about 2 minutes?

I sure hope not, because tonight was the first chance I've had to work on my draft review, and shitty internet service caused me to miss the deadline by a few minutes. I was actually setting up my phone as a tethering device just to be able to get online... of course, as soon as I had it set up, my regular internet magically started working again. Whoop-de-fucking-do.

[Jungle Cats]

A Grim Vision of Things To Come

[CapsGM]

You think you've won?

[Penguin]

Jokes!

[Jungle Cats]

Re-building Panthers to evaluate foundations at camp
Sunrise, FL (AP) - After a summer lay-off that included such bold and inventive moves as removing the word 'hockey' from all advertising related copy (it was revealed in focus groups to be the hardest sell as a reason to get people to visit the Bank), placing a large tarp over a section of the arena that they won't even attempt to sell tickets for, and of course the dangerous hostage crisis negotiated through in the midst of the draft, the Florida Panthers hockey club is ready to get down to business.

Training camp is set to start on the 14th of September, in attendance will be those Panthers fortunate enough to have a multi-year contract in place before the current management took-over, as well as a host of rookies and veteran players that are eager for what they call 'the future.' The interminable rebuild of the Panthers may yet come to an end, in the bright naive eyes of these children, too young yet to know the true pain of an endless summer of rebuilds and bright futures that never quite roll in, but instead usher in the long, dark tea-time of the soul. We'll start with an assessment of the forwards and the possible position battles which may emerge.

Forwards
"Popular" Panthers forwards Stephen Weiss and Michael Frolík lead a rag-tag group that would appear to have some rather unsettling openings. Off-season acquisition Jiri Hudler (swapped for underachiever Rostislav Olesz) and former 36-goalscorer Loui Eriksson are the only other stand-outs among a group of hard-working, but altogether quite untalented grinders. Haslam has hinted that Frolík, with his superior size and strength, is his new preference for front-line center, pushing Weiss to the wing. The assembly of the third line could be looked at as a move to find stability, but given the inconsistent play of Moore and Dvorak, and the relative lack of better options, it looks to us like wishful thinking that those two won't see time on one of the scoring lines.

Weiss-Frolík-Hudler
2nd LW-2nd C-Eriksson
Moore-Campbell-Dvorak
McLeod-Tarnasky-4th RW

Left-wing on the second line will likely be contested between Michal Repík (likely), Dominic Moore (less likely), Enver Lisin (not likely) and 18 year old Brock Nelson (let 'em dream).
Second line center looks like as good a place as any for top selection Mikael Granlund to begin what will most likely be a long and arduous rookie campaign, hopefully drawing some weaker match-ups from teams with internal mercy-rules on their bench, because as much as he may struggle, there's very little competition for this spot from guys like Drew Shore.
The final spot in the forward group could go to a guy like Francis Wathier or Eric Tangradi - both are big strong lugs who please the fans, although Tangradi's got a solid edge in actual playing ability.

Defense

The Panthers are, regrettably, probably at their best in their own end (only just), and an unspectacular top-4 returns, tasked with the unenviable double duty of racking up a +/- of the Tiger Woods variety and covering for young guys, trying their best not to get all misty-eyed with the memories of better days. Bryan McCabe has been named an interim captain of the squad upon the departure of PK specialist Hal Gill, and he's joined by serial underachievers Keith Ballard, Nik Grossman and Jordan Leopold. Ville Koistinen, lambasted in the past by coach Peter DeBoer for being "a pylon, and a small pylon at that" will continue his duties as a warm body on the powerplay, and the somnambulant Rob Davison may yet get a call to return to the Panthers should rookies Maxim Berezin and Petter Granberg fail to impress, or, worse still, become resentful toward the Panthers organization and demand to play for whatever silly AHL affliate can be wrangled.

Ballard-Granberg
Grossman-McCabe
Leopold-Berezin
Koistinen

Goaltending

A position of real pride for the Panthers, who have graciously volunteered to boost the save percentages (and thus prestige) of goaltenders such as Roberto Luongo, Craig Anderson and Tomas Vokoun in recent years, Vokoun recently fell off into the phantom zone, his save percentage last season a glutenous .880. The only thing stopping the Panthers from permanently ending the Vokoun era is the lingering feelings of giddiness associated with schadenfreude - otherwise, Swedish netminder Jacob Markstrom would be locked and loaded. Still, we presume Markstrom will get starts this season, and we further presume Vokoun could still be bought out or sent to rot if he catches the GM in a vindictive mood. Scott Clemmensen, one way or another, is going to sit a lot, and has told this magazine he is quite excited to resume his pursuit of Craig Billington in the all-time bench warming record books.

Markstrom
Vokoun
Clemmensen

[Penguin]

Nice read.

[Jungle Cats]

The Grim March Toward Oblivion Made Sunny
Sunrise, FL (AP) - Limbo. Purgatory. The Abyss. Gehenna. What the Jews call 'Sheol.' Bardo - the liminal state, the soul sleep. The Florida Panthers.

Are they rebuilding? How long have they been rebuilding for - is it possible they are themselves unaware that they are rebuilding? In the post-lockout NHL, the Panthers have yet to make the playoffs. They've also stayed clear of lottery picks, of draft selections that would immediately change the direction of the franchise with a much needed injection of game-changing talent. This is a long standing pattern - the prospects that do make an impact with the Panthers linger until their mid-20s, when they start worrying about playing in games that have meaning, about their chances of ever raising the Stanley Cup, and promptly sign elsewhere or demand to be traded. Stephen Weiss is perhaps the only example of a young player who has been willing to commit his career to the Panthers, although there were murmurs prior to the just-passed trade deadline that he might be moved.

Analysts are quick to suggest that it is often desirable for a franchise that can't reasonably expect to compete with the best in the league to 'really go for the gusto' and instead of being merely mediocre, aim to be absolutely horrid. The Panthers finished 24th in the NHL last season - they're in the exact same position with just 21 games left to go in the 2010/11 season. In 2008/09, they were in a dead heat for the 8th and final playoff spot in the East, but came up short. The season before that, they were 22nd. Compare this below average standings consistency with the concentrated dismalness of recent Cup winners like the Penguins and Blackhawks - or is that too easy?

It is. To take that approach is to deny that those teams were not also guided by talented managers and scouts who, yes, maximized their returns on high draft picks, but also who knew how to craft a winning team through additions by trade and free agency and correctly ascertaining the value of young players requiring extensions. The six year, 18.75 million dollar deal given to 3rd/4th liner Rostislav Olesz (now a Thrasher) in 2009 might suggest that some of these criteria have passed by the notice of Panthers management. The selection of Petter Granberg at 8th overall, and Connor Brickley at 27th, among others, similarly suspect. The bizarre acquisition 'strategy' employed by GM Haslam needn't be explored in more depth, it's simply too painful.

And yet, in spite of all this, the Panthers are not the worst team in the league. Far from it - 16 points up on the Detroit Red Wings, as of this writing. But there's a difference. The Red Wings, for the past two decades, have demonstrated time and time again an ability to do all the little things right - maximizing the value of the draft, finding the right parts for the right prices and being able to part with assets that aren't worth what they're asking for. The Panthers simply don't have that track record.

Eric Tangradi, a team low -24 in just 36 games this season, has been given his reward - a free pass to the 2nd place Penguins - while Stephen Weiss, perpetually a good sport and in the prime of his career, scoring a point per game and looking like a 40 goal scorer on a good team, languishes in hockey's spirit prison. It can't be long before he asks for a way out.

[Jungle Cats]

Spring Cleaning in a Land with No Seasons
Sunrise, FL (AP) - The playoffs are always an exciting time of year for Panthers fans, as high-quality hockey is suddenly readily available and nationally broadcast, often times directly into their homes. The comfort afforded by watching better teams play competitive and exciting hockey in a quest for hockey's ultimate trophy annually consoles Panthers fans who would otherwise be sitting in the dark, fretting over what tremendous blunder the management was orchestrating for the coming draft and free agency period. For those brave few that still think on the wayward Panthers in this trying time, we offer the following break-down of the comedy of errors to follow.

Contract Extensions -or- "the difficult ones"

The big concern for Panthers fans this off-season are the negotiations with winger Michael Frolìk, who, in the final years of his ELC, scored 30 and 32 goals, respectively. Florida's 1st round pick in 2006 leads the club in goal-scoring over the last two seasons, and this year set career highs in goals (32) and points (68). The concern with Frolìk is not whether or not management will have the wherewithal to sign the big Czech, but how much they'll end up shelling out for him. 64 goals in the last two years is quite good, and 'Fro' is undoubtedly the team's MVP this season, but his skills and production put him a notch below the big-boys of the NHL's premiere wage earners, and management should do well to remember that. 'Fro' deserves to get paid, but let's not go nuts, just because there's enough cap room to stuff several Alexei Yashins in.

Fellow Czechs, including Radek Dvorak, who holds the record for most games as Florida Panther, and Michal Repìk, should also be back, but they're unlikely to break the bank. One of their countrymen who may not be back next season is Goaltender Tomas Vokoun. After losing the starting job to rookie Jacob Markstrom in training camp, Vokoun made just 20 appearances this season, posting a 3-15-2 record with a 3.60GAA and a dismal .879 save percentage. Vokoun's agent is marketing this season as a write-off campaign where he received little-to-no support from the coaching staff and was treated with open contempt from the management. Vokoun is said to be seeking in the neighbourhood of 6,000,000 per, a raise from his current deal, the last two seasons of which he has a combined record of 28-60-10 and a save percentage south of .880.

Cats captain Bryan McCabe is also without a contract for next season. McCabe, has been a model of offensive consistency for the Panthers, having produced 39,40 and 39 points in the last three seasons. His defense bounced back this season in a large way - by some counts, he lead the league in defensive takeaways - offensive giveaways, making him a pretty steady puck possession presence on the Panthers blueline. McCabe would surely be welcomed back to the anemic defense corps, but his agent has informed several sources that he's looking to test the market.

The 2011 Draft -or- There and back again

The Panthers did not win the draft lottery, although they were leap-frogged by a better team, the Atlanta Thrashers. Them's the breaks. The Panthers will draft 7th at the draft in St. Paul. Instead of a comprehensive scouting portfolio of possible picks in the upcoming draft, the following glance at last year's picks is offered -

Last year's 6th overall pick, Mikael Granlund, struggled to find his game at an NHL level early on, finding the NHL a great deal more physical than SM-Liiga. The nineteen year old did score 15 goals and had a total of 44 points this season, afforded plenty of powerplay time with Frolìk and Weiss as the season went on. Areas for improvement are the same as they were when Granlund was drafted - defensive zone play was atrocious, a -35 on the year places him in the bottom three league wide.

Last year's 8th overall pick, Petter Granberg, considered a reach at that position, did a lot to prove himself in his freshman season, making the team out of camp and finishing just two points back of Bryan McCabe for the team's defensive scoring leader.

Brock Nelson was Florida's 3rd pick in 2010, taken 22nd overall. He returned to the University of Minnesota and posted identical numbers to his freshman campaign. It's speculated that the Cats will look to move him into the AHL next year to take a more hands-on approach to his development.

The 4th and final 1st rounder from last year's draft, Connor Brickley, has done little to make good on the promise management saw in him when they selected him above Patrick Nemeth (who played in the NHL this past season). Brickley joined the University of Vermont and played quite well at that level, but the flashes of brilliance alleged by scouts last season were few and far between.

[Jungle Cats]

Report from the Combine
The truck shudders again, over a rock or a branch. The path through the jungle has continued to narrow on the third day of our expedition. White-haired Estevan, who last night by the fire admitted to being ‘maybe mostly blind,’ is driving. I’m not worried. Navigation is a matter of guiding the truck through the slim areas where sunlight breaks the trees and missing the wide black spots.
The three toothless Latinos I’ve shared the truck and journey with are looking increasingly less toothless as we descend further into the heart of the jungle. Knives appeared strapped to their legs yesterday after we spent the first night listening to the caterwauling of the formless boogums perched on the jungle’s edge. Amadeo, the youngest of the three, the nominal jungle guide, has not taken his eyes off of the hissing AM radio embedded in the truck’s dashboard in the five minutes I’ve been awake.
“Why not just turn it off?” I suggest. No response but engine whine. The path takes a hard left and so do we, Castor’s tawny face sheepish and pressed close to me, his body un-tethered and carried through the turn into mine. I help him off when the path levels.
With the road uniformly wild and jungle-y, I try to focus on the task at hand. I re-check my bag for a clipboard and a sharpened pencil. Pawing through my things, I pause for a moment on the empty holster stowed at the bottom of the bag. A scout’s done worse things in this jungle than lose his gun. I’ve heard things. A vision fills my head – a naked and broken man, debased and dehumanized, crawling on all fours and screaming about VO2 max results. “Intangibles!” he yowls - or wants to yowl, his voice curdled and torn beyond human tongues - his vowels are the vowels of the bat.
Breakfast – a tin of beans heated by the jungle to the halfway point between congealed cold and the warmth of excised phlegm – rises in my throat. Tastes of diesel. I don’t want to be here. The combine results aren’t even on the GM’s radar, to say nothing of the Head Scout’s. Do you really want to know what the GM does to determine his draft picks? This is a fool’s errand, or worse.

***

We arrive at midday. Or we are supposed to arrive at midday. Estevan stops the truck in a wide clearing near a river with a sign bearing the unmistakable (and greatly incongruous) NHL shield logo. Several tents are still up, and some people are visible in the distance, but the camp is hardly the Gatorade sponsored/fuelled frenzy I had been told to expect. Everything looks blown through, as if the inhabitants of the camp left in a great hurry. An exercise bike is overturned on the river bed.
The three Latinos rest near the truck, either uninterested or unconcerned by what’s become of the combine. For all they know, this is what I was expecting. I enter the first tent and find it empty, save for a folding table and a stack of registration forms and rbk shirts.
Moving toward the center of the clearing I spy a few upright white boards with the results of various tests still marked on them. Gabriel Landeskog, to no one’s great surprise, was able to eat six boxes of Alpen cereal without more than three cups of milk. A few lower ranked players ate more boxes, but that has to solidify the line of thought that he’ll be ready for the bigs next year.
Now – don’t get me wrong, a guy who can eat six boxes of Alpen as a junior isn’t maybe as likely to keep developing that ability, he’s probably got a bit of a maturity boost – but you’ve got to think that any guy who can eat Alpen in Elitserien at sixteen and captain an OHL team in his draft season will have no problem eating Alpen at an NHL level, even if six boxes is less remarkable in the pros.
Sean Couturier’s name is high on the list of players who can throw a regulation bicycle a specified distance (overhand), though Adam Larsson leads the pack of players who can throw said bicycle underhand.
None of these top prospects seem to have hung around though, when I finally catch the attention of the small group of young men still at the testing site. Larsson, RNH, Strome – the very cream of the group are gone.
Jonathan Huberdeau is among the listless survivors of the exodus.
“I tell dem, I just finish de memorial cup, dey say it’s no big deal, just come down to de amazon.. nothing hard. No biggie. Dey leave me here for – who are you?”
“I’m a scout. With the Panthers.”
“Ah, zut. We’re doomed.”
Dougie Hamilton, a good-sized two-way defender, is flipping through a book of attitudinal questions. He’s sitting with his shoulders slumped, but seems to be in a dark, humorous mood.
“Hey, Sven. Sven!” Sven Baertschi looks over at the defenseman.
“Gun or poem?”
“Gun!” The swiss seems uncharacteristically militant. He’s applying a hunting knife to the remains of a table.
It’s apparent that I’m the only scout present. The dozen or so teenaged prospects remaining all seem clustered in the general area, though when I ask if there’s anyone else, a sullen Duncan Siemens points toward the river. Rocco Grimaldi.
Grimaldi is up to his knees in the river. His body is rigid. His eyes are fixed on the sun.
“I confess the Lord Jesus Christ! It is by his love and grace that I am living! "It's impossible," said pride. "It's risky," said experience. "It's pointless," said reason. "Give it a try," whispered the heart. There's always a purpose in Gods silence. The teacher is always silent during the test. The only way we can STAND is on knees with lifted hands! YOU need to praise Him! I am alive in Christ but dead to sin!”

***
I am jostled awake by a sudden lurch of the truck. My head’s tilted straight back, my eyes open to stare at the canopy. Castor, my companion in the back seat, gives my shoulder a reassuring pat. We’re not out yet. I shutter my eyes and adjust my sunglasses but the sun has rose, and my rest was uneasy and will not be simple to rejoin.

[Femur]

Report from the Combine...The three toothless Latinos I’ve shared the truck and journey with are looking increasingly less toothless...

all of it genius, but this line is especially...uh special.

[SharksGM]

This is definitely a better literary experience than reading Hart of Darkness in high school but perhaps a step behind the specil effects of Apocalypse Now. Good job!

[Penguin]

I still prefer the story where Pierre Gemerre would do opium in his shack!

[Jungle Cats]

Draft finishes without Rebel Takeover

Sunrise, FL (AP) - After last year's regrettable coup d'etat, tensions were high among the Florida Panthers faithful, who once again expressed little faith, via the blogosphere, that the club would come out ahead at the NHL entry draft. The Panthers drafted six players in Minnesota, and none prompted a brutal and bloody takeover of the Bank.

Going into the draft, it could be assumed that the Panthers, with some quality talent up front on their roster and in the system, would be looking to augment to blueline, and find Petter Granberg a partner. With the lottery dumping the Cats to seventh overall, Larsson would be out of the picture, but most mocks had the Cats going for Hamilton or Siemens.

The selection of John Gibson seventh overall was an easy pick, if not the most savvy. In a behind the scenes video briefly made available (and then curiously removed) of the Panthers draft team going over their options at #7, it's obvious that Gibson's selection was a pragmatic decision to go with the best player available - "Truthfully, we had Hamilton at the top of our list at seven, and hoped he fell to us. He didn't, so a choice had to be made there. We looked at a power forward, at the other defensemen - and there wasn't a lot of big time skill at the top. Gibson's going to be a great goaltender, he has very few weaknesses in his game, and we believe he was at least the seventh best prospect in the draft."

Twenty-one year old starting goaltender Jacob Markstrom didn't have any comment on the club making a goaltender their first selection, but Gibson is more than a few years behind him in development, and our sources with the team don't indicate any change in management's plans for Markstrom, who is still regarded as the goalie of the future, today.

The Panthers didn't pick again until the 3rd round, selecting the German forward Marcel Noebels at #66. Noebels is a boom/bust selection, a capable two-way winger who shows a consistent effort and a lot of natural leadership ability. He's a bit of a project, but he's shown every indication that he's willing to work for what he wants. What's German for 'Intangibles?'

Florida grabbed another version of Noebels at #96, in the form of Canadian Michael Curtis (more on Curtis in our rookie camp feature). Daniel Catenacci was available at #126, and represents a safer pick than the Panthers brass likes to pride themselves on. Low risk, low reward.

The Panthers finally took their first defenseman of the draft with their sixth round pick, selecting the defensively-minded Reese Scarlett. Ludwig Blomstrand rounds out the 2011 class at #186, and at least looks like a kid who can throw his body around.

Panthers Prospects Attend Rookie Camp, Bewilder Beat Reporters Who Aren't Supposed to be There

Unmarked Arena outside of Copeland, FL (AP) - Ice, in southern Florida, is a novel and fickle thing. In July, with the temperatures routinely stretching above 35 celsius, and humidity less a concept than a concrete reality, a tremendous amount of willpower goes in to the maintenance of any quantity of ice, and so, at the tiny practice facility where the Florida Panthers had their rookies and prospects work-out for a few days this July, the fans and refrigeration units roar non-stop with the voices of a thousand mechanical yawns.

This made communication on-ice or otherwise nearly impossible. Coaching staff giving lectures on proper nutrition were gesturing frantically with fruit to a classroom of confused teenagers. After a good half an hour of skating around the rink with bed-sheets, the players had cleared enough fog to attempt a few on-ice drills and demonstrate what kind of skill they'd be bringing to the proper camp in the fall.

Connor Brickley, the much-maligned 'who?' first rounder of a year ago who started all the mess with the OCLF and AARP, looked much better. Transformed, almost, from the player in the grainy high-school footage that TSN grabbed off youtube to show at their 2010 draft show, and definitely better put together than the skinny kid who showed up at last year's camp. While not a finished product, the puck skill shown by Brickley in the brief scrimmage, coupled with the tremendous leap-forward in his all-around development, suggests he's quite likely to turn pro and slum it up in the AHL this season. His stock has never been higher, and though we were unable to hear any of the staff's comments, they were all-smiles any time Brickley took the ice. Except when he beat Justin Faulk senseless with Faulk's own helmet. Brickley's temper may be the only thing holding him back now.

Also looking good at the prospect camp - sophomore defenseman Petter Granberg, who looks like a star in the making, despite the pourous defensive group he led last season. The Panthers should be pursuing defensive help quite aggressively during the free agent period, the acquisition of Wade Redden represents a baby-step in the right direction.

4th round pick Michael Curtis seemed to surprise the staff, showing up ready to hit just about everything that moved. He seems more like a player to watch than his draft package indicated, though he has a bit of a journey up ahead.

Justin Faulk, though briefly brained, was coherent enough to tattle on this reporter when we approached the player's bench and thrust a microphone under his nose.

We assume the rest of the camp went well. What?

[Jungle Cats]

"Loomings" - Training Camp Preview
Sunrise, FL (AP) -
"One attempts to be significant on a grand scale/ in the knockdown battle of life/ but settles."
- Dean Young, Clam Ode

The NHL is widely acknowledged to be the premier professional hockey league in the world, with a majority of the world's top players and clubs. The Florida Panthers hockey club is competitive among these teams, and employ a few of the very best athletes playing hockey today - but there is only so much room at the top, only so many superlatives to be had. One team presides over the apex, and all contenders clamber to scale the lesser peaks. So often, the Panthers are mired in the foothills. Does this make for an unexciting product? The Cats are still no worse than the 20-50th best hockey team in the world, winger Michael Frolík is no worse than the 20th best player at his position, and the opponents faced at the Bank Atlantic Center are equally as accomplished, if not more so. Every game is still an NHL game. Despite the fact that the Panthers have never come remotely close to winning the Stanley Cup in the last fifteen years - losing in the first round in just two appearances since 1996 - there's no danger of the franchise folding, or being relegated, or relocated, for sheer mediocrity. Fans remain committed to the non-winners, out of proximity, or loyalty, or fashion.

Management is - how does management feel about this? Are the Panthers a toy to be manipulated? Is owning and controlling an NHL team satisfying regardless of results, so long as you're not hemorrhaging money? Does the cycle get broken this season? Questions. It's September, and questions abound. We'll move on to questions about the on-ice product.

Training Camp Preview

Forwards
- Key offensive contributor Michael Frolík (32+36) continued to improve last season, notably increasing his assist totals as his playmaking continues to blossom at an NHL level. The Cats committed to 'Fro' with a 4 year deal at a reasonable 4.4 million a season, and at age 23, he's still entering his prime. Joining Frolík on the top line is long-time Panther Stephen Weiss, who has led the team in scoring for the last two seasons, with 73 point in each. In the middle of the top line last season was shell-shocked rookie Mikael Granlund (15+29), and that trend will likely continue through the pre-season. The top line sacrifices physicality for skill, although Frolík came to camp in noticeably better shape.

Loui Eriksson (21+28) and Jiri Hudler (15+28) are adequate contributors on the second line, which seemed to have a gap on left wing last year - one-dimensional scorer Michal Repík (14+12) held onto the role at the end of the season - are to be greatly helped by the arrival of veteran Pavol Demitra (36+40, MTL) as a free agent. Signed on a one year deal, the veteran Slovak may be nearing the end of his career, but his experience should bring some stability to Florida's secondary scoring needs.

Weiss-Granlund-Frolík
Demitra-Eriksson-Hudler

From there it gets muddy. Mainstays like Radek Dvorak and Greg Campbell may eventually be pushed out in favour of new blood, and toughness (hard to find in the top 6) may determine who plays and who sits this season.

Left Wingers - Repík, McLeod, Wathier, Jenks, Dadonov Nelson, Curtis, Noebels, Blomstrand
Centres - Campbell, Moore, Shore, Brickley, Catenacci
Right Wingers - Gustafsson, Dvorak, McArdle, Collins, Lisin

The Panthers have tried to keep the bottom six at least three deep at every position, but the truth is that there's little talent in the system that would be ready to step in to a top six role in the case on injury - Nelson and Brickley need considerable seasoning in the AHL.

Defensemen
- The Panthers attempted to make-over the defense in the off-season, with limited success. Wade Redden (8
38, PHI), although atrociously paid, was acquired for slighty more than a song, gives the club an older Keith Ballard. Trevor Daley (8+31, DAL), a free agent, gives the club a less consistent Keith Ballard. Keith Ballard (9+25), of course, remains Keith Ballard - an all-over adequate defender to eat minutes. Petter Granberg (3+34), he of the auspicious rookie season, knows precisely what areas of his game to work on - and will quickly be the top defender on the team. The bottom pairing will likely feature Jordan Leopold (9+21) and Ville Kostinen (2+16), with Nathan Oystrick (0+8, ATL) and Brandon Archibald ready to swap in. All together, the Panthers defensive core still lacks star power, but should be considerably less porous - particularly with the departure of Bryan McCabe.

Goaltending
- An alarmed Jacob Markstrom watched the Florida Panthers select John Gibson with their first pick in the 2011 entry draft, but the 21 year old starter should have nothing to fear from the teenage prospect. With a marginally improved Panthers club in front of him, he controls his own destiny - after starting 62 games as a rookie, the sophomore should be ready to take it to the next level any day now. Surprisingly, Tomas Vokoun returned to the club on a two year deal that still pays him starter's money. Should Markstrom falter, Vokoun is a proven backup who can play a lot of games.
Richard Bachmann and Tyler Plante should both do steady jobs in the AHL this year, and neither has big-time NHL upside - the future is Gibson.

Summary
- I'm on to the next one, onto the next, I'm on to the next one, onto the next, I'm on to the next one, onto the next, I'm on to the next one, onto the next...

[Penguin]

One team presides over the apex, and all contenders clamber to scale the lesser peaks. So often, the Panthers are mired in the foothills.

Ever thought of doing Scrabble competitions for money!?

[Jungle Cats]

When You're In, You're Out Again

Sunrise, FL (ap) - The Panthers made their final cuts on Friday afternoon, and among the names traversing the waiver wire before the start of the 2011/12 season is veteran forward Dominic Moore. After a 45 point break-out season with the Leafs and Sabres in 2009 (and subsequent lofty contract demands), Moore spent the last two years as a member of the Panthers bottom six. 'Versatile,' but not genuinely talented or gritty, Moore spent most of his time on the bottom two lines and put up 13 goals and 29 points in 144 games with the Cats. It's likely the 31 year old won't be back in the NHL if he isn't picked up shortly, though he declined to leave us with a comment.

In his place, in the all important 4th line centre spot, big-boned Drew Shore. Shore had 4 points in 7 pre-season contests, and plays an all-around more physical game than the departing Moore. The GM's minimal-effort incentive of the off-season was to at least encourage the idea that the Cats be a little harder to play against, and Shore over Moore is perhaps a microcosmic indication that the GM is trying.

Other late cuts included forward Kenndal McArdle, whose attempt at an eye-opening pre-season (3+3, 21pim) was met with a yawn by management. The former first round pick (20th in 2005) is looking at his fifth AHL season, where he'll be considered a key contributor on a young San Antonio squad.

He'll be joined by 2011 1st round pick John Gibson, who should have an immediate (and brief) effect on the Rampage. Only 18, Gibson made things interesting in camp and would have pushed for the backup goalie job if the club hadn't resigned veteran Tomas Vokoun. The other underager on the AHL squad is the enigmatic Connor Brickley, who occasionally showed flashes of his superior toolbox in the pre-season, but finished -5 after eight games.

Predicted Top Scorers (Provided by the VUKOTA-SNEPSTS-Lojackojammermeter)

Stephen Weiss - 35/40
Mikael Granlund - 25/45
Michael Frolík - 30/40
Loui Eriksson - 25/35
Pavol Demitra - 25/30
Petter Granberg - 10/35

[Jungle Cats]

Lament for Icarus

There is, of course, still much talk of building. Of re-building. Of constructing a core. It is talk, just talk, and it is fleeting and relegated to the darker corners of this sun-bleached flowery-land. But it is persistent talk, and it persists still, as it has endured much worse than this. There is no darker corner in the sunshine state than the cold and empty arena, and it is here where the talk retreats. It has passed back into the waning phase, but endures, supposing itself wiser.

In the rapacious waxing phase that has now ended, the talk was only of ambition. Of meagre fortunes improving. Building. A footfall following another, an anticipated acceleration now realized. Many a cliché. Pieces falling into place, as it were. But how hungry was that talk? What insults fate worse - unabated, unfettered hope, or smaller, calculated designs? Is tempered expectation the same as ambition? Perhaps not. No, whatever the talk had captured or otherwise been charmed by was not ambition - no, plainly it was smaller stuff. Poorer dreams for lesser creatures under a lesser god, and so much more easily crushed. Ah -- Playoffs? Don't talk about -- playoffs?! You kidding me?! Playoffs?

O, take it away. All of it.

Callow talk. Inebriated on vapour. Talk wobbled in the stands on legs of grass and then went black, awoke on a reedy beach, alone and dry-lipped, blinking lamely at the sun, asking only "what" and not "why" - in uncertain apostrophe. Satisfied, thoroughly sated, a fickle daemon actor of the random and chaotic causal mish-mash of creation crept away silently. Talk has lost much of its voice, but persists. "Shall rise again," and other platitudes, whispered.

[Penguin]

Zackey stop doing crack! I don't understand a thing when you write.

[CapsGM]

Ah -- Playoffs? Don't talk about -- playoffs?! You kidding me?! Playoffs?

[Jets GM]

[Commish Bub(NYR)]

Icarus? Pfft. Daedalus was the one who actually made it, but where's his glory, his fame?

[SharksGM]

Hmm... Granlund = Icarus, so Jarome Iginla is your sun? That's so sweet

[Jungle Cats]

It's been a long time running, Is it well worth the wait?
Sunrise, FL (ZP)

Just nineteen games remain in the Florida Panthers' 2011-12 campaign and the Cats are a comfortable 12 points out of 8th place in the Eastern Conference, and cruising a good ten points above the turtle-derby teams.

"Got 'em right where we want 'em," muses Head Coach Peter DeBoer, with vicious irony. It's been suggested that the mood in the locker room may have turned. The trade deadline passed without incident, though veterans Jordan Leopold and Jiri Hudler, they of the expiring contracts, are still travelling with their larger suitcases. The only plane ticket handed out by management this season went to Radek Dvorak, who for his part, seemed genuinely befuddled by the move, which brought a 4th round pick back to Florida, as he went to Toronto, now lower in the standings than the Panthers. (For the Dvorak fanatiks - Radek has a goal and 4 pim in 10 games with the Leafs)

Though characteristically quiet at the deadline, Management (as a general policy) doesn't mind allowing idle speculators to continue idly speculating, so they acknowledged that Jacob Markstrom was in a possible shuffle to a contender, but would not specify what broke down any possible deal. Communication, most likely.

Fun and Frolíks

"Yes, yes, I know... but it isn't all bad, is it?" With two of their top three forwards on the injury reserve since October (Weiss) and November (Granlund), the Panthers' offense looked to be in dire straits and sinking. While a debate about the other aspects of the team would expose some grievous flaws with the system and personnel, the Panthers currently have the 11th best offense in the league, and the 6th best powerplay. This not-unimpressive resilience is largely attributable to DeBoer's 'run-n-gun' system, but the man in charge of the offense is due some kudos.

Michael Frolík (27+49), once upon a time the 'Baby Jagr' (both are from Kladno, in the Czech Republic), has blossomed as a playmaker this season, inexplicably compiling assists with the best of the league while his two regular linemates recuperate. Credit to veteran Pavol Demitra (24+33) for rising to the occasion, and countryman Jiri Hudler (21+17) for providing able targets, and rookie Connor Brickley (9+10, in 40 contests), who's added an element of chaos to the Panthers' top line as of late.

With their support, Frolík's led the way. Though currently in a dogfight with Chicago's Patrick Kane for the Art Ross trophy, 'Fro' has led the league in scoring since January, and his 76 points in 63 games already surpass last year's career high of 68. The big Czech is quick to downplay his stats, as hockey players all over the world are required to, but he does note that his '-19' is personally disappointing, and recognizes that the team has to be better, and maybe if the team played a more balanced game, they could be better. Peter DeBoer perks up from across the room, looking as if Frolík just sneezed something blasphemous.

Frolík does recognize some perks of being one of EHEC's best performers this year, like playing in something called an 'All-Star Game,' which this reporter hasn't heard of, and frankly, thinks sounds kind of made up. Perhaps the winger is developing something of a celebrity haze, where the world as we plebes know it drifts away as his own personal gravitational pull warps space time and brings all that he desires closer to him with the minimum of effort. Then again, if this 'All-Star Game' exists, EHEC should advertise it somehow. They could, just for example, get legendary comic hack Stan Lee to hastily develop a number of tangentially related half-baked superheroes, slap the team logos on them, and then promptly forget it ever happened. That'd get the people in the seats.

Upcoming Key Match-Ups

Well, the draft is in June... so... how 'bout dem Heat?
Don't get hot and flustered! Use a bit of mustard.
You're a hot dog, but you better not try to hurt her, Frank Furter...

[Jungle Cats]

From a Motel 6

The phone rings, or continues to ring, for a long time. Someone knocks on the door of the motel room, with varying intensity, a rapid flurry followed by syncope, on and off. The phone rings in time with the knocking for a moment, and the sound is similar to the uneven patter of rain on a tin roof punctuated by a round of gunshots. In the seconds where both the phone and the knocking fall silent, time turns itself inside out, and Cody McLeod opens his eyes in time to close them and wince when the noise resumes.

The phone continues to ring, the knocking continues and McLeod blinks again, this time catching sight of the clock. He strains and fixes a glare on the red numbers, the molten LEDs vex him and he shudders as another series of knocks starts. More of the dark room reveals itself to him, light filtering through the pilly orange wool curtains in a yellowed fur-haze. There's not much to see, though the carpet turns his stomach, which he vaguely recalls as the thing he's lying on.

McLeod smacks the clock with the side of his hand and it tumbles to the floor, somehow activating the alarm, which adds a grating klaxon to the din. The phone rings on, outside of swiping distance. He closes his eyes again and focuses on the knocking, suddenly aware that the knocking is accompanied by a voice. The voice is muffled but insistent, commanding, authoritative and resoundingly clear in its instructions.

"Answer the phone."

And swift knocking. And the sound of the phone ringing. McLeod turns himself and immediately regrets doing so, lurching involuntarily, his mouth filled with thin bile. He isn't sure what to do.

"Answer the phone."

He tries to call out how?, but only spits on the sheets. His throat burns and he tries to ask how do I answer the phone, what is a phone, who am I and what is this place?, but he misplaces most of the syllables.

The phone continues to ring, but the knocking stops. The clock alarm stops, and turning carefully sideways he squints at the upside down clock, which now makes slightly more sense. It's late afternoon, assuming a four is a four and the universe is consistent with memory. The enormity of this assumption engulfs McLeod and he passes out for another hour.

The phone continues to ring, though this time, which considerable verve, McLeod manages to claw it toward himself. The receiver squawks his first name, and he runs through a short list of everyone he's ever known who might be on the other end and trying to talk to him, though he doesn't remember what year it is and who among his friends are already dead.

"Cody."

It's familiar but not reassuring. A man's voice, so already on the long side of the odds when it comes to good news. A few more concrete details filter back to his mind, sidestepping the sizable gap directly preceding this latest wrestling match with consciousness and stretching back nearly two months. He remembers ice.

"Cody, it's time to come back."

[SharksGM]

Jesus.

[Jungle Cats]

Well, in fairness, we are re-signing him.

[Jungle Cats]

Draft Previews for People Who Love Bad News

The Florida Panthers finished the 2011-12 NHL season in no-man's land again, a comfortable 22nd in a field of 30, giving them the 9th overall pick in this year's entry draft and a third consecutive top ten pick (6th in '10, 7th in '11). The Panthers are improving by inches, as it were, and slowly improving the lot for the future.

In the opinion of this paper, the management staff of the Panthers has to bear some responsibility. No one could have foreseen significant injuries to two of the club's top three forwards (2011 top scorer Stephen Weiss played just 4 games this season, second year dynamo Mikael Granlund played 19), but it's been three years of middle-of-the-road slog, and a reputation is growing.

Haslam is not a dealer. A few unnamed GMs note that he's notoriously difficult to communicate with, and doesn't seem interested in horse trading. After last year's draft day frustration, a 'for sale' sign has continuously been on Jacob Markstrom, but he's been advertised with all the enthusiasm of a postage-stamp sized ad in a local paper used to line a birdcage. Aside from shuffling Radek Dvorak to Toronto, the 2011/12 season was completely devoid of acquisitions or trades.

Thus, it falls to the draft and free agency (and good luck with that) to improve the team. All four of 2010's 1st round picks (Granlund, Granberg, Nelson, Brickley) are already with the team, and 4th rounder Brandon Archibald looks to stick as an enforcer. 2011 is a slightly different case - though the Panthers were leaning heavily on the slim chance that Dougie Hamilton fell to them, the club was publicly quite happy with the goaltender available at 7th.

When looking forward to the 2012 draft, a few publications have speculated about who exactly the Panthers might pick at 9 - we'd hazard a guess that they're still looking for another bluechipper on defense, but Haslam's willingness to pick BPA or go straight off the board means naming names is straight conjecture at this moment.

[SharksGM]

Hey, they picked a half-man, half-lion, half-eagle on defense. You were right all along.

I realize now with the clarity of a Sandals wading pool that your story about Cody McLeod was really about Mike Walters.

[Commish Bub(NYR)]

Hey, they picked a half-man, half-lion, half-eagle on defense.

That's 150% of hockey player! Steal of the draft, for sure.

[DallasSean]

Hey, they picked a half-man, half-lion, half-eagle on defense.

That's 150% of hockey player! Steal of the draft, for sure.

You say that, but every time he steps onto the ice he's going to be taking "too many men" penalties.

[Calgary.Flames]

It's not "men" unless there's at least two of them, so you'd be all good.
My dad's a math teacher.

[Commish Bub(NYR)]

Okay, a "too many man" penalty.

[SharksGM]

100% of him isn't a man! That just leaves 50%. If anything there wouldn't be enough men on the ice. You could still fit in another half-man, half-machine.

[Commish Bub(NYR)]

This is getting into Mickey Rivers territory. ("Pitching is 80% of the game and the other half is hitting and fielding.")

[DallasSean]

I'd like to cross-reference Roberts, Gary in this case and request Reinhart be assessed at least one minor penalty for every shift he takes.

Also, cross-posted from my trade block...do YOU have a second-round pick this year? If so, and the player I still want is on the block, I would like to trade for it! Offers start with my second-round pick next year and possibly add picks, depending on where your pick falls in the round!

[Jungle Cats]

We Do Not Sow.

The 2012 EHEC draft took place over a duration of time at a location. The Panthers selected 10 players. These are they.

16th - Griffin Reinhart, D - Prince George Cougars (WHL)
Though Florida started the day with a top ten pick, faced with another case of 'our #1 guy is off the board, and we've got our fill of goalies,' the Panthers traded down and were happy enough to see Reinhart on the board. The 6'4 defenseman pairs a heavy shot with a strong physical game, and projects as at least a 2nd pairing defender. The son of former Flame Paul Reinhart is ready for the AHL now, and could see spot-duty in the NHL depending on how he fares. Also, as others have noted, he's something of a dragon man who is now just a dragon but still... well, anyway.

30th - Nikolai Prokhorkin, W - CSKA (KHL)
The other pick received in the trade down with San Jose, and a grand opportunity for one of those enigmatic and off-the-board picks the Panthers are variously lauded, cursed and laughed at for - "Pro-ho" is a smooth skating Russian with many latent talents, though the journey from point A to B could be a checkered one. Over in Russia, at least, he's shown to be a disciplined and consistent player who occasionally shows flashes of greatness. He's as inscrutable as he is lovely, and we had no photo available.

39th - Tim Bozon, W - Kamloops Blazers (WHL)
The second of four picks from the WHL (But who's counting?), Bozon is a flashy winger who apparently scored zero goals last season for the hated Blazers. Still, while his offensive flair is undeniable (though baffling, statistically), the young american's (allllllllll night) major weakness is his complete lack of defense. Or his lack of conditioning. Or his avarice. Still, the draft was lean on raw talent, and Bozon has it in spades.

69th - Dakota Mermis, D - Green Bay Gamblers (USHL)
An otherwise unremarkable average-sized two-way defender with a fucking ridiculous name. Mermis is committed to playing NCAA hockey with the Pioneers in Denver, where he'll undoubtedly prosper in the footsteps of Matt Carle... but hopefully turn out slightly better.

89th - Mikko Vainonen, D - HIFK (SM)
A captain with Finlands U18 team, Vainonen was selected while the Panthers GM was moving. Why he should choose to move in the middle of the draft, we can only speculate, though suggesting he had any choice at all may be premature. Free will, y'know? Vainonen is big, mean, but surprisingly clean. Should have a future in something. I mean, we should all be so lucky.

98th - Henrik Samuelsson, D/RW - Edmonton Oil Kings (WHL)
Son of Ulfie, brother of Phillip, who is also hanging on in the Panthers organization. Henrik does basically one thing well (He's his father's son), but it's his ability to play two positions that makes him a covetous asset for a team looking to bolster its feeder club. That's not to say Samuelsson has no shot at the big time, but a man's got to know his limitations.

99th - Gustav Rydahl, D/LW - Frölunda Indians (SEL)
Just a bit more 'y'know, Swedish-Swedish' than Samuelsson, Rydahl has a lot of the same appeal, and maybe a little bit raw skill. The order of these picks was heavily informed by extispicy, in that it was completely random and a small animal died needlessly.

129th - Coda Gordon, W - Swift Current Broncos (WHL)
In the 5th round of the draft, you're either looking for the ultimate longshot, or you're picking good kids with good names. Now, Coda may or may not be a good name, but in a world filled with Mackenzies and Cales and Aidans... it's not terrible.

159th - Dario Simion, W - HC Lugano (NLA)
Last summer we’d scrambled into the truck and bolted away. Tonight, my walk down the mountain took longer than expected. It’s dark now, and a reedy wind brushes the trees against the street lamps, it scatters shadows into an inoffensive waltz along the curb side. Down here the street curves with the shore, it follows the undulations of the beachfront a hundred feet south. I come up to Chris Leggat’s place, and stop to look for signs of life, and I can see around back, much closer to the water, the glow of coals at the far end of the yard. The moon’s reflection on the blue-black water shows the movements of a group of people around the fire. I can hear some laughter and revelry.
I walk onto the grass and up to the fire quite until Swan notices me, Mark notices me, they both slap me on the back. Swan laughs and shouts too close to me, the shadows on his face distorting wildly in the light.

189th - Patrick Luza, D - Bratislava Jr (SVK)
Willow tree branches jut out and hang over the lake, drunk and teenage, seeming willpowered and illuminated, hopped up on winds. I remember namecalling as important, but that didn't happen this time, things already so clearly defined. Something stronger submerged a long time gone.Shit, there was naming and deliberating then, in the long soft breaking. Wasn't, I guess, so bad to be repeatedly unfurled and flailing, to be entwined and aware of wounded, bright things aflame even when doused in the lake, with the willow trees fucking about, beautifully.