Habby Days

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JetsGM

Habby Days

Post by JetsGM »

The Canadiens are suffering their worst streak in recent memory, going 2-6-1 over their last 9 games and some wonder where the bottom will be. Once comfortably holding 1st in the Eastern Conference, the Habs struggles since a series of injuries and suspensions have seen them fall to 5th. They hold a 15 point lead over the next batch of teams, but there are still 30+ games to be played in the season.

The eluded to injuries and suspensions are the main reason for the Habs struggles, but one should not forget about the intense drinking of 39 year old star goaltender Pekka Rinne. An off-season signing to support Cup Champion Evan Sarthou, Rinne quickly found himself in the starter's role as his numbers were much superior to the young Sarthouian.
As suspensions and injuries began to take hold of the Habs' top 6 and top defensemen, however, Rinne's (and the team's) numbers began to plummet. Rinne has been seen drinking out of a brown paper bag between periods, asking fans if they "wanna feel these guns for a toonie".

Most of the MIA Habs will be returning this season, with the exception of Mike Richards who has been lost for the remainder of the year. Unfortunately for GM Ty "Big Poppa Pump" Boyko, none of his players will return prior to the trade deadline, so he will have to make a decision in the coming weeks as to whether he wants to sacrifice future pieces to replace Richards in an attempt to repeat as EHEC Cup Champions, or if he wants to trade some of this older core with a look to the future when this team will be lead by Kirby Dach, Klim Kostin, Matthew Boldy, Rodion Amirov, and probably-still-somehow Pekka Rinne.

In the meantime, Boyko promises to think about lots of trades, but not actually talk to anybody.

"Haven't I done enough?" he asked reporters who asked why he wasn't wearing pants.

Have you, though?
Have you?
JetsGM

Re: Habby Days

Post by JetsGM »

Canadiens clear house; Jets pick up the poop

In a rather shocking move, the Montreal Canadiens today announced the firing of GM/Coach Ty Boyko. The move comes after the Canadiens were unable to repeat as Cup champions, pathetically only getting to game 7 of the Cup finals and losing in OT.

"We feel he should have at least been able to lead them to a third overtime," said Habs owner Geoff Molson. "I mean, look at him. He's got loser tattooed on his forehead."

"My forehead is sponsored by Loser Toileteries," Boyko responded when asked about it as he packed up his desk, "it's not much, but it pays the bills. Well, one or two of them. The smaller bills. Like my drycleaning. Not that I do that much, since I mostly wear slogan t-shirts. Where IS the beef, anyway? Ha ha, get it? Hey, did you stop filming?"

Boyko was not out of work for long, though, as the Winnipeg Jets accidentally faxed him a contract offer. Boyko signed it before they could cancel the fax.
"My mom always told me: if you get a faxed contract offer from Winnipeg, sign it right away in case they didn't mean to send it. For 40 years I had no idea what she was talking about and figured it was the Bourbon, but now I get it. Thanks, Mom."

Boyko will now go from managing a Cup contender to a team that has 2 or maybe 3 players under contract for next season. He is expected to be active in free agency, with lots of cap space to work with.

For Sesame Street News, I'm Guy Smiley.
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SensGM
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Re: Habby Days

Post by SensGM »

Wow, very surprising turnaround.
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