Eastside's Hockey Elite Collide

1. You go out camping with a group of buddies and two of them have kids under the age of 5. You're definitely irritated that they decided to bring their children around because you've brought more beer and liquor than food and you want to be able to be as R-rated as possible with your stories and comments. The entire trip turns out to be a giant letdown and, on the second-to-last day of the trip, you let out an f-bomb and now your buddy's four-year-old daughter is saying "f this, and f that". To conceal your guilt, you decide to wander away from the camp while your buddy is in his tent.

Unfortunately, you wander too far. You hadn't really picked up any supplies because you thought you would be right back. But in your fit of rage at the shitty time you're having, you just stormed away angrily without thinking to grab any essentials. As you turn around, you notice that you've been followed by a profanity-spewing four-year-old who has heard every word. Now, you're responsible for your buddy's kid and you're lost. You check your pockets and you've got: your flask about half full with Black Velvet, a semi-melted Hershey's bar, a shitty Bic lighter with about half the fluid, your cell phone with zero reception, and your Carhartt jacket has an interior pocket that somehow had a Swiss army knife in it.

Not being familiar with the area, and with darkness starting to creep in, do you sit and wait for your frantic friend to find you, and undoubtedly bite your head off, or do you keep wandering until it's pitch black, not knowing if you're farther or closer to camp? If you sit and wait, what supplies do you try to gather and what do you do with the ones you have?

2. It's a boring Monday morning and you're making the deposit for your company at the bank. As you walk in, you notice your high school best friend who you haven't talked to in years. In high school, you guys were inseparable, and he once rescued you from a flash flood after you lost your footing and fell into the river.

But now, he has changed drastically and he's passed a note to the teller demanding money. You see him flash a gun that's in the waistband of his pants. In an instant, the place is barricaded by the police and your former best friend demands that everybody get down on the ground. It's now become a hostage situation.

What do you do? Do you lay there quietly and let the situation play out? Do you try to talk down your deranged former friend? Do you try and be the hero and stop him?

3. You are in Vegas with a group of friends for your bachelor party. At the time, you're unaware, but your sister is in town for her friend's bachelorette party. A couple of the guys in the party head to the bar while you and the groom and another guy go sit at the craps table. After a couple hours, the groom gets a text that one of the guys is about to hook up with a girl named Laura and he'll see them later. Naturally, the groom is excited that his buddy is getting laid (as is Guy Code) and tells the group. You think nothing of it.

A short while later, you text your sister to see how mom and dad are doing while you're away. She responds that she's in Vegas and she'll talk to you later. You vaguely know this dude who is about to get laid, but think he's an asshole and a womanizer because of what you've heard. You begin putting two and two together that Laura just might be your sister.

Her phone has been shut off and the groom's buddy is still texting the groom about how he's about to bang this broad. What's your next step? And, if you're unsuccessful in stopping the act, what do you do after?

4. Now, the opposite situation. You're about to hook up with a girl who you realize is one of your friend's sisters. You aren't overly close to the guy, but he seems like a good dude and you get along well.

Do you say screw it and do her anyway, knowing that it will get back to this guy and at 6'4" 240, he's very capable of kicking your ass? Or, do you move along because, well, you're in Vegas and there's no shortage of women who want to get laid?

5. After a night at the bar, you go home with an incredible looking girl. You're both pretty drunk, all inhibitions are gone, and you're about to make a legendary story for your buddies to laugh about. This is the type of girl who you would never have a chance with. And you're probably the type of guy that she would never have sex with.

But, alas, as is usually the problem with these one-night drunken hookups, you are empty-handed. Not a single rubber to be found and she's all out, laughing that she had a box of 36 like a week ago. You don't know if this is just her drunkenness or the absolute truth.

If it's the truth, she may be a gigantic whore and you're going to wind up with herpes. But, this is the girl that legendary stories are made of, and you're drunk and not necessarily thinking clearly.

Do you take the risk? Or do you mumble a bullshit story and leave?

1. Ok, well first if I drove there in my own vehicle I'm insta bouncing as soon as I realize the situation. For the sake of the question, I'll assume I bummed a ride with one of the toddlers parents and am stuck there. I give the half melted choc bar to the kid so they don't break into hysterics, stay where I am and use some forestry+bic lighter to start a fire. The fire hopefully attracts the rest of camp, and I can get back to being a miserable drunk by myself.

2. Homie's got a gun? He's not a friend nemore lol. Im chilling with my belly on the floor till the cops bust in and break his face.

3. Well...if any of my sisters wanted to be that "ez one night" in Vegas for some meathead I'm not going to stop them. However, if in fact it is my sister to make up for the needling I'll b takin from the boys over the next few days I'll b sure to mention this fun filled story at xmas dinners, future wedding rehearsals and family reunions to make sure no good deed goes unpunished. To get the roid head to stfu, I'd just tell everyone that according to my sis the dude has a serious case of micropenis. Anyone who does not know what micropenis, I suggest you wiki it for a good lol.

note: I apologize to neone in the league that suffers from it, its no laughing matter and is very insensitive to joke about.

4. I've never been to Vegas, but I have a hard time believing there is attractive women looking to get laid left and right that won't make you pay an hourly rate for there services. Sry bro, but I'd have a hard time believing anyone is passing up this opportunity to dangle for the sake of not hurting dudes feelings. Even if the dude is jacked, I'm a pretty nice guy so if we were both down at the time why does he have to whoop on me? And if he does come after me, if hes 6'4, 240 I'm pretty sure I could run faster and longer.

5. Straight out of knocked up, awesome movie. No way I'm getting it in (jersey shore is so sick lol). I'd be pretty put off by the 36 in one week comment, but thats like.....5 1/4 a day? I don't know, going anywhere near that your risking your livelihood. I'm a pretty coherent logical drunk nowadays unless I'm smashed, so I'd just go with my gut on whether she was joking about it or not as to whether we'd be doing anything else.

1. Wait until daylight.

2. Help him think of a way to escape with an innocent suspect who may or may not have known him in a previous life. Ask for 30%.

4. Being a friend's sister wouldn't bar me from pursuing anything. Although I might be a bit more respectful.

5. I would risk the chance. Usually wrap it up though.

Props for coming up with scenario questions, but these all seem like the furthest things from the reality I accept as my own...

1. sit tight/wander back in the rough direction of the camp, might as well give the kid the chocolate bar after a little chat about words and their power that probably goes over her head but it's worth a shot.
2. certainly an awkward situation but i don't see any need to exacerbate it further other than to acknowledge him, which is probably a smarter move than just lying there until he discovers you're pretending not to know him.
3. although it is a laughable and highly unlikely scenario, if i had that kind of sister and those kinds of friends, it's still not any of my business.
4. as a person who has been wronged (although not in this particular way), I do believe that there are certain things you do not do. even ignoring the folly of the random hook-up (particularly with someone's sister).
5. no. just no.

Jungle Cats wrote:Props for coming up with scenario questions, but these all seem like the furthest things from the reality I accept as my own...

Not really intending for them to be. Because generally, you don't have to take the time to think about common, everyday scenarios. You can just spew an answer without thinking. I guess I just thought it would be humorous to see some of the answers and the thought processes.

Ha, awesome job lately on these questions, Adam.

1. If there are any clues (you know where that mountain is in relation to your site, you had the sun in your eyes during your venture so you were heading west, etc.) I would try to find my way back that night. If not, I'd probably wait until the daylight comes back and see what I can remember during the darkness to try to piece it together.

2. It would depend on my most recently watched movie... something like the Bank Job would have me in on it, something like Bourne would probably have me use it as a distraction to pull some other stuff.

3. Not my business.

4. I'd be too busy at the poker tables.

5. Especially after the 36 comment it's mumble the story and leave.

1. I stay and wait, trying to find shelter any way I can. The chief objective is the little girl. So she gets the coat and I do what I can to keep her warm. I enjoy the flask. I expect that guy to frantically search for his daughter, so they're more likely to find me if I sit still than if I am on the move. If I do get on the move, I try to do what I can to leave a path. Maybe tear off branches that show the way I'm going.

2. I'm laying there and not doing anything. If we've fallen out of touch, maybe it's from a grudge he holds against me.

3. She's a grown woman. She can handle herself.

4. Not taking the chances of losing a friend based on a one-night stand. Secrecy's impossible, somebody will find out.

5. I do not want any gifts that keep on giving. I'm getting the fuck out of there, even if I have to walk home.