Of Trades and Draft Picks, "da Hawks Beat"

[Femur]

Of Trades and Draft Picks
da Hawks Beat
by Buster Hyman

The Chicago Blackhawks' playoff run lasted all of five games in a listless defeat at the hands of the underrated Calgary Flames; a major disappointment for the club and fans alike. Chris Drury was brought in for much needed leadership, but was no help against a team that was simply better. GM Stan Bowman was philosophical about the defeat, “screw it” he simply said in the presser. Coach Joel Quennevelle was incoherent, but sounded really profane. President Femur was distraught and burned out. I know this to be fact, and that is why he has been a virtual ghost in the front office; definitely contrary to reports he was blowing off his responsibilities. He told me off the record that he just didn't feel like working for a while (Ed NOTE: if it was off the record, why are you printing it?) (Writer's NOTE: don't you have some commas to place?)

Anyway, he did get back to work, and the blow-up expected (and demanded) by many fans did not happen, but I am hear to tell you it was considered. Femur told me on more than one occasion that he was going to trade all of his scoring (Hawks were 2nd in goals scored) for defense and goal tending (but they were 20th in goals allowed) in a league that puts a premium on keeping the puck out of your own net. In the end, though, Femur said he couldn't rob the fans with boring trap hockey (I say he is too lazy for a rebuild). So the tweakers in da Hawks front office (Legal Dept. NOTE: alleged tweakers) offer just tweaks again, but some major tweaks at least.

The stunner was a trade with the LA Kings (the hockey team, not the gang) (Ed NOTE: oh god, please update your references; “Colors” is not culturally relevant anymore) that saw cornerstone Andrew Ladd, and Kyle Beach (finally coming into his own), and the Hawks # 1 pick (# 18 overall) sent to Los Angeles for defenseman Brent Burns, young sniper Kyle Turris, and a second round pick. As much as a fan favorite Ladd was, public reaction has been positive (which surprises this writer) for one simple reason: Chicago needed a defender...or three...at least we got one. Another surprise trade saw eternal prospect Dalton Smith get his production-less behind traded to Tampa for a mere 2013 2nd round pick. Why trade the mammoth Smith just when it was thought he was ready to reach his potential? My sources said CHI was very disappointed in Smith as a player, and were no longer willing to wait for him to make the expected leap. Oh well. Finally da Hawks swapped a 2nd rounder out for 4 picks in next year's draft with the Penguins. Official word was PIT was desperate to get their guy; I have it on good rumor that Bowman won at least two of the picks in a card game.

So entered the Entry Draft; da Hawks (as they have done consistently under the shaky leadership of Femur-Bowman) again went with size over talent. First up was a second round pick, and da Hawks did well to select American defenseman Joshua Hanson from Portland of the WHL. Hanson has no offensive game to speak of, but looks to be a solid stay-at-home defenseman. He brings a constant effort every night, but what Chicago really likes about him (go figure) is his hulking size. Listed at 6'2” 199 lbs., he seems big, but it is not until you realize how strong he is that his size advantage is realized. Of course, they will spin his leadership potential (and it is real), but we all know that when Femur runs out of ideas, he figures size trumps talent.

Did I mention da Hawks like to go with size over talent? A perfect segway to introduce our third round selection, a huge Canadian center Justin Kea from the OHL. Kea clocks in at a whopping 6'4” 212 lbs as an 18 year old (Wr. NOTE: what are they feeding this kid?)(Ed NOTE: other kids) (Wr. NOTE: i am putting these on a tee for you today)(Ed NOTE: Ty). Kea’s strengths are...well...his strength, really. He has a mean streak and knows how to hit as well. Surprisingly, though, he has got some hands, and though he does need to be right in front of the net to score, he certainly will be able to get there with his size. Discipline is a problem with Kea, though, as he is all over the ice in the few moments he is not in the box. Quenneville thinks he can can coach him up and loves the pick for a third round choice....at least that is what i took his torrent of curses to mean.

More size as Chicago selected D Stanislavsky Gareev from da Czech Republic (Ed.NOTE: really?)(Wr. NOTE: why not? it was funny) who stands 6'3” and weighs 195 lbs. He will definitely need to hit the weight room and fill out, because his skinny frame couldn't break a pane of glass right now. Even though he hasn't shown much game at this point, da Hawks feel at only 17 he might develop more than he has shown thus far. Another guy whom da Hawks feel has more potential than Central Scouting figured is their fifth round pick, Lukas Sieber a left winger from Switzerland. Many doubt how much potential he has, but Chicago likes his consistent play and thinks with some coaching he might be able to surprise.

Da Hawks rounded out draft days with a guy by the name of Joni Nikko (Wr.NOTE : a boy named Sue?)(Ed.NOTE: proud of yourself now? you got one in)(Wr.NOTE: I know a Finish hooker named Joni Nikko)(Ed.NOTE: that's enough) who has size and strength of course (6'2” 191 lbs.) and has a nice little offensive game. The problem is you have no idea when he is going to decide to play. Their final selection was a spritely Vincent Hinostroza, whom Chicagoans can easily go see play at the University of Notre Dame if they wish. At just 5'9”, he is not really in da Hawks mold, but he has the qualities of a sniper and might be fun to watch.

So without a first rounder to turn fans' heads, Chicago quietly had a decent draft, and got at least two guys they will be thinking will be at the big club one day. Free agency is next, and there probably won't be much to cover again from my standpoint (Ed.NOTE: but you will be ready of course?), but if you will allow me to continue, I naturally will be here, ready to drop some knowledge on y'all (Ed.NOTE: oh, much more current. At least we are in the millennium). I am Buster Hyman and you just read “da Hawks Beat.”