December 9, 2021

[DetroitGM]

Homepage, Schedule & Results, League Save File

So as I suggested I would do, here is the write-up I wrote before I simmed the games. Remember, that means NONE OF THESE RESULTS ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

Boston hosted Tampa in the first game of the night. The Lightning have been struggling of late and needed a win they frankly should get - no offence to the Bruins, but the Lightning's goal differential before the game was +11, tied for 5th best in the league, whereas Boston was down in 19th at -2. Unfortunately for Tampa, Callan Foote, despite having just 1 goal in 23 games this season, recorded a Gordie Howe hat-trick in a 4-2 victory. Carey Price made 21 saves in the loss.

Dallas and Washington stuck to their scripts for the season in a game that was not particularly close. The Capitals, who had given up the most goals in the league at 101, continue to feel that defence is overrated, giving up 6 goals on 42 shots. And though their offence is the 7th best in the league, it could do little more than offer tiny mosquito bites at the 2nd best defence in the league, who allowed just one goal on 16 shots. Daniel Sprong and Joel Armia each had two goals in the 6-1 win.

The best defence in the league, that of the LA Kings, faced off against the fifth best defence in the league, in what will almost certainly go down in EHEC history as the most boring game to ever take place. That's right, neither team scored - hell, neither team even managed to hit 20 shots on goal. We will never speak of this game again.

One can hardly expect an upset when the second-worst team in the league is hosting the best team in the league... and yet, every so often in this crazy simulated fantasy world, a goalie stands on his head. Unfortunately for the New Jersey Devils, it didn't happen tonight, and they lost 5-2.

What can one say about rivalry games? Well they tend to bring out the worst in people - despite having 0 penalty minutes in 22 games in which he averaged 24 minutes of ice-time, the Islanders' Darnell Nurse was assessed a 5min major for attempt to injure after he shattered the neck of one Jack Eichel. Eichel, who will surely need surgery, was taken off on a stretcher but still managed to argue with the doctors attending him that he needed a different kind of surgery from the one they were recommending. Rumour has it that he will seek a trade. Of course, he still scored two goals in a 4-3 victory.

Over in a neighbourhood ostensibly considered to be part of Canada's capital, the San Jose Sharks limped in to battle in front of a raucus three people. As per usual, the Sharks' goalies allowed far too many goals on far too few shots, with Alex Nedelkovic pulled in the first period having allowed 3 goals on 1 shot, while his replacement, Chet Pickard, also allowed 3 goals on 12 shots, which does mean he managed to stop 11 more shots than Nedelkovic. The good news for the Sharks is that they tore Ottawa to shreds and won 8-6.

I'm running out of creativity and energy, so I used a random number generator (set to 0-10) to determine the results in the last two games: Columbus thumped Pittsburgh 9-4, while Toronto and the Oilers tied 7-7.

[AvalancheGM]

lol, Eichel's neck can't even escape harm in a fantasy world.

Also, I struggle to see how a defence that ices Liljegren and Meloche in the top 4 could possibly be the best in the league, but go figure.

And where did Ben Wright come from? I know a Ben Wright who worked for a defunct NHL team but not one who plays in the NHL.

[NYRNYRNYR]

lol, Eichel's neck can't even escape harm in a fantasy world.

Also, I struggle to see how a defence that ices Liljegren and Meloche in the top 4 could possibly be the best in the league, but go figure.

And where did Ben Wright come from? I know a Ben Wright who worked for a defunct NHL team but not one who plays in the NHL.

LoL this was very good. I mean, despite the jinx to Eichel but well done

[SharksGM]

Weird, I had this feverish dream where my 'contender' Sharks got outshot nearly 3:1, but the 'tanking' Devils defeated Montreal thanks to a Burmistrov hat trick. Good that nothing like that actually happened.