Tocchet Thunderstruck; loses job

[Jets GM]

Tocchet Thunderstruck; loses job

SUNRISE, FL - The vultures finally swooped down and put an end to Rick Tocchet's reign as head coach of the Tampa Bay Lightning. "I'm here today to announce that Rick Tocchet is no longer the head coach of the Tampa Bay Lightning" remarks GM Cote at a morning press conference "Rick served this team admirably over the last three and a half seasons, leading us to an EHEC Stanley Cup. We thank him for his contributions and wish him well." It's been a disappointing season with few bright spots for the Lightning; once thought to contend for a playoff spot after narrowly missing out last season, the Lightning find themselves well out of the race with over thirty games remaining. When pressed about the firing and if it was all performance related, Cote responded bluntly "Someone has last their job, their livelihood, I'm not going to dissect it any further then I have to, particularly in a public forum." Rumors were rampant that Tocchet had once again involved himself in some questionable extracurricular activities; but, given the quality of the Lightnings play one must assume the majority of the decision was based on on-ice results.

"I'm also here to introduce the new head coach, Dave Andreychuk." Andreychuk has a storied history with the team, leading Tampa Bay to it's first ever championship. Mike Vernon has been assigned to replace the vacant assistant coach position left behind. Andreychuk addressed the question of style differences between himself and Tocchet, "Well, obviously some things will change because were all unique individuals, but the goal remains the same. Success." Success, something the Lightning have tasted very little of this year. When asked about the Lightnings struggles, GM Cote offered an unusually candid response "This has been a very humbling experience, and I hear the thing's being said about me and our team around the league" a stoic Cote replied, "Were a incredibly talented team, but were all learning that talent has very little to do with success. Our biggest enemy has been ourselves this year, the self-doubt and negative energy in this locker room is something I've never seen before. It's gotta change, it has to."

"Were not counting the days till the season ends here, were going to be making the days count. If there is a player not interested in doing that, we'll find somewhere else for him" says Andreychuk, when asked about what the Lightning have left to play for this season. So is Coach Andreychuk the man to lead the Lightning out of it's dark hole, or will the team continue to dig it even deeper? Andreychuk offered this response "It's a funny thing, when I was younger I was told 'approach each game with the mentality that failure wasn't an option.' That is a bunch of bullshit, failure is always an option for a hockey team. Failure is the most readily available option at all times. But it is a choice, you can choose to fail or you can choose to succeed." And as Andreychuk rattled off his diatribe regarding failure, GM Cote cracked a small smile. It appears the climb out of darkness has begun for this green Lightning squad.