Uh Oh! Fan Appreciation Night Moved Up!

[Femur]

"Uh Oh!"
da Hawks Beat
- by Buster Hymen

I always told you fans that I would let you know when it was time to panic; well here we are...commence panic! RUSH THE DOORS!

According to my sources (Wr. NOTE: read: me) the Chicago Blackhawks marketing department has hastily organized "Fan Appreciation Night" for tonight at the UC. What do they know? Well, apparently, they know what I do (and you are about to): the boys aren't gonna play tonight.

Nobody with the team will officially say anything on the record other than, "we still have home ice" (Savard), "we just need to play our game" (Bowman), "Detroit sucks" (Femur) (Ed NOTE: please tell me Femur didn't say that?) (Wr. NOTE: why would I print it if he didn't) (Ed. NOTE: i don't know...never stopped you before) (Wr. NOTE: blow me), and so forth. But off the record? My sources (Wr. NOTE: not me this time) are all saying the talent hasn't shown up yet, and there is no indication they will tonight. They won't name names, but of course I will. Toews, Sharp, Seabrook, Campbell (especially Campbell), and even the usually dependable Duncan Keith all have looked worse yesterday in the skate-around than they have in the series, and that is saying a lot.

We can go over the postmortem next week, but for now, I am Buster Hymen wishing you all a happy Fan Appreciation Night!

[Virtual Jarmo]

So self-deprecating.