The Penguins have announced the signing of center Shawn Horcoff to a 1 year contract worth 2,500,000$. Horcoff was still a free agent on September 1st and it looked like teams were not giving the requested amount. GM Bern pounced on the occasion to low-ball an offer, sent a solid hooker to his door and threatened to kill his cat, Horcoff immeditely accepted. Horcoff will bring in a veteran presence on the 3rd line, scheduled to start the season centering Louis Leblanc and Sergei Barbashev. He will also patrol the 1st unit of the Penalty Kill alongside Anze Kopitar. Not much is expected out of the 37 year old other than finishing in the + in +/- category and most importantly, revealing personal secrets of former team/Stanley Cup champs Tampa Bay Lighting. Apparently, Dalton Smith has a micro penis. Gutty chirps be coming!